not many, but much

My Favorite Verses

2008-03-30T13:11:00.002+08:00

One of my best friends in high school often criticized me that I didn't know my Bible well enough. I couldn't argue otherwise because I knew she could quote verses by heart (and I couldn't) and so she had a point. I remember her asking "Do you read the Bible, Nikki?" and I remember not being able to answer quickly enough because... well, okay, I didn't at all. Thanks to her constructive criticisms and positve example, I was challenged to pick up my Bible and get cracking.

I haven't read the entire Bible, and I'm nowhere close to reading it as much as I really should. But allow me to share my top four favorite verses of all time, and why I love them so.

Psalm 8: 3-4
When I behold Your Heavens, the moon and the stars that You have set in place,
What is man that You should be mindful of him?

I have always been fascinated by the sky. I enjoy watching clouds (and even take lots of photos of them, especially the "crunchy" looking ones... yung parang tirahan ng Care Bears?) and stars (I have starcharts and can name certain constellations from memory). I love watching the sun and moon rise and set. When I read this verse, my love for the sky made so much sense - far from being New Agey, it's that feeling of awe (and ultimately, humility) that keeps me gazing upward.

Matthew 6:28
Learn from the way the wildflowers grow.

Aside from the sky, I also have this fascination with wildflowers. Some may call them mere weeds, but if you take the time to look at them up close, you may be surprised at how complex (and beautiful) they are. Check out my original (and sadly unmaintained) prayer blog for my favorite photos of wildflowers. What can we learn from them?

Psalm 37: 4
Delight in the Lord and He will grant you all your heart's desires.

I love how Ignatian spirituality highlights God in all things, particularly in our purest and deepest desires. Isn't it great that He also wants what we want? As a good friend of mine put it so well: "I've learned about God's perfect time. Whatever you seek, and whatever He promised, is only a matter of WHEN, not a matter of IF." I couldn't have said it better.

Isaiah 30: 15
By waiting and by calm you shall be saved,
In quiet and in trust you shall find your strength.

My Holy Week retreat focused on these two lines and I am still overwhelmed with how much you can get out of 14 unique words (yes, I'm a logophile... okay, nerd... hee-hee... and actually counted!). For now, let me just say: I realized I haven't been very good at waiting, remaining calm or quiet, and trusting in the last months. No wonder I felt so lost and tired. More to come in future prayer posts.

Posted for LD's Prayer Musings, 30 March 2008.

Isaiah 30:15

2008-03-23T22:39:00.000+08:00

By waiting and by calm you shall be saved
In quiet and in trust you shall find your strength

This is the verse I stayed with and relished in during my individually-guided Holy Week silent retreat at my favorite sacred space, the Sacred Heart Center in Novaliches, Quezon City.

Sa pagbabalik at sa pagpapahinga ay matitiwasay kayo
Sa katahimikan at sa pagasa ay magiging ang inyong lakas

Thank You, Lord, for the graces of waiting, calmness, quiet, and child-like faith.

God in All (Small) Things

2007-04-09T01:23:00.000+08:00

Learn from the way the wild flowers grow. (Matthew 6:28)

The first two photos were taken at the Sacred Heart Novitiate during last year's Holy Week Silent Retreat. Can you see the tiny yellow flower cradled on the leaf in the second photo? I stopped mid-stride when I saw it and got teary at the beautiful sight. The last two are from The Karis Tagaytay where I spent the last few days in glorious silence. I found the little yellow flower standing proudly amidst the gravel in the parking lot. Yes, the last is an extreme close-up shot of the lowly makahiya plant. So the next time you wish to run your foot against it (to see it fold up and close, and open again), be careful you don't trample on the pretty purple dandelion-like flowers!

Thank you, Lord, for the grace of seeing the Extraordinary in the smallest of all small things. Thank you for speaking in the Silence and Smallness. I beg for the continuous grace to share your Word with others to see the Extraordinary in the most ordinary of Every Day Things.

Disturb Us, O Lord

2006-11-01T23:31:00.000+08:00

Disturb us, O Lord
when we are too well-pleased
with ourselves;
when our dreams have come true
because we dreamed too little;
when we have arrived in safety
because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, O Lord
when with the abundance of
things possessed, we lose our thirst
for the water of life;
when, having fallen in love with time,
we have ceased to dream of Eternity;
and our efforts to build a new earth
have allowed Your vision for
the New Heaven to grow dim.

Stir us, O Lord
to dare more boldly,
to venture on wider seas,
where storms shall show Thy Mastery,
where, losing sight of land,
we shall find the stars.

In the name of Him
who pushed back the horizons
of our hopes and invited
the brave to follow Him.
Amen.

I love this. My philosophy professor would start every single class with this prayer yet each day it would still sound so new and beautiful. One of the best prayers I've come across, found in a little Jesuit prayer book called Leave for Home: Prayers, Poems and Points for the Journey.

My Favorite Poem, Perfect for Easter

2006-05-01T11:42:00.000+08:00

i thank You God for most this amazing
day:for the leaping greenly spirits of trees
and a true blue dream of sky;and for everything
which is natural which is infinite which is yes

(i who have died am alive again today,
and this is the sun's birthday;this is the birth
day of life and of love and wings:and of the gay
great happening illimitably earth)

how should tasting touching hearing seeing
breathing any—lifted from the no
of all nothing—human merely being
doubt unimaginable You?

(now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

© 1950 by e.e. cummings

Spiritual Exercise # 2

2006-04-25T12:05:00.000+08:00

The person [director] who gives to another [directee] the method and procedure for meditating or contemplating should accurately narrate the [gospel] narrative contained in the contemplation or meditation, going over the points with only a brief summary explanation. For in this way the person [directee] who is contemplating, by taking this gospel narrative as the authentic foundation, and by reflecting on it and reasoning about it for oneself, can thus discover something that will bring better understanding or a more personalized concept of it - either through one's own reasoning or insofar as the unerstanding is enlightened by God's grace. This brings more spiritual relish and spiritual fruit than if the one giving the Exercises had lengthily explained and amplified the meaning of the gospel. For what fills and satisfies the soul consists, not in knowing [so many things], but in our understanding the realities profoundly and in [simply] savoring them interiorly.

From the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola

Easter Morning

2006-04-17T12:12:00.000+08:00

I watched the Easter sunrise from this empty space—and was filled with awe, gratitude, and love.

May this, My whispered song,
lead you to come back home
till we're no longer far apart,
Then will your laughter
fill My heart.

EMPTY SPACE. Words by Johnny Go, S.J. Music by Manoling Francisco, S.J.
© Bukas Palad Music Ministry, 2005. All rights reserved.

Every Day is Easter Day

2006-04-17T12:09:00.000+08:00

As I leave this sacred space, I pray for the grace to remain in Him and in His Silence. (now the ears of my ears awake and
now the eyes of my eyes are opened)

Non multa sed multum

2006-04-16T21:07:00.001+08:00

Not many, but much. My one-liner realization, prayer and deepest desire. Thank you, Bro. Charles, for sharing this Latin line with me. Let it be my continuous prayer as I strive to know and reconnect with Him who loves me in an extraordinary way. Let this space be my voice as I listen with my eyes and heart wide awake and open.

One Word

2005-02-05T20:44:00.000+08:00

Lord, I am not worthy to receive You, but only say The Word and I shall be healed.

A line we Catholics say every week before we walk the aisle and receive Him; the line that creates a strange ache deep inside me. Lord, if You could say just one word to me, what would You say? Yes. No. Because. Now. Amen. Nikki. What would You really say? What are You saying? Speak and I will listen, Lord; I can hear You in my heart.

Yes. Now is the best time. This is what I've always dreamt for you. Talagang para sa iyo. Oo, tama ito; tama ka. I'm glad you like it. I'm really happy that you're happy. Thank you for accepting this. Do you like it? Here you go. Just for you. Tanggapin mo na, matagal ka nang naghihintay. Para lang sa `yo.

No. Kasi alam kong masasaktan ka. I know what's best for you; really, I do. Hindi talaga puwede. Hindi siya para sa `yo. Huwag, masasaktan ako; mas lalong masasaktan ka. I say this only out of love. Trust me.

Because. Because I love you. You may not see it now, but I just want to make sure you're happy. Alam ko. Dahil hindi siya sapat. Because you will get hurt. Because the world needs you somewhere else. Because I want you to grow and love even more. Patience, Nikki. Don't be too stubborn; you will understand one day. Because he doesn't love you. Because My plan is best. You'll see one day.

Now. I'm glad you waited; aren't you? O, eto na, nakahanda na siya para sa iyo. This is really part of My plan for your life. Panahon na. Now is the time... your time to shine. Ngayon. Matagal ko na itong hinihintay.

Amen. You're welcome. And all things shall be well. I agree. Thank you for spending time with me. Salamat din. Goodnight to you too. Sleep tight.

Nikki. My daughter, my life. You are unique and I love you. Of course that was me holding your hand. I know everything about you... more than you'll ever know... and yet I love you even more. You are mine. I made you with a lot of love. Kilalang-kilala kita. How can I not love you?

In any One Word You say, and everything that is said and unsaid with it, I rediscover the mystery of You: You embrace me with my flaws, paving the Way for my dreams. You love deeply and I become who I must be in Your perfect time.